Every now and then a private message pops into my inbox on different BDSM sites, sounding very much like this:
"Hello Mistress. May I have permission to speak to you, Mistress? *kneels respectfully*"
There is something very wrong about this.
First, I am not Mistress of any of these men. If I want someone to call me Mistress it's because they belong to me and I've actively requested that they call me Mistress when sending a PM or memo. If a man doesn't belong to me he has no business of calling me Mistress, and if he does belong to me I'll let him know how to address me.
Secondly, I see no reason why a man should ask me for permission to speak to me in that way. I am not his Mistress, I am just a stranger and want to be treated as such. I don't mind common courtesy, but this is just ridiculous.
I just want to be treated as an ordinary person, a stranger. Courtious, but not too much. I do not believe in too large 'gaps' between Domme and sub. First we are entirely ordinary persons and get to know each other as such, in the vanilla way of things. If we like each other we start 'dating' like in vanilla. Then, if all goes well we move on to establish some kind of relationship, which might at this point involve BDSM.
Mind you, this is just how I prefer things to be. Other Dommes will have other preferences. In general, though, my impression is that Domme's want to be treated as normal persons to start with. If they want a special way of communication from the start, they'll usually tell you in their profiles (that is my impression).
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3 comments:
hey just came across your profile on informed consent, i am a 22 yr old sub, based near swansea, I haven't a profile yet on IC however I do have msn, if you wish to spk add me on keepontrucking85@hotmail.co.uk
x
I like your attitude, and I hope people will understand it. I suppose it's easy to make that mistake when people are new, to sound like a doormat and overly respectful when they are approaching you. I am glad I don't remember how I sounded online years ago... But I hope people will learn and understand after a while. Submissives should respect themselves, too. And I honestly don't believe in female superiority, even though it's a nice fantasy.
Thank you blue^elf :) I'm glad I don't remember much from my first years online too... It always feels like reading a stranger's thoughts when I see posts online that I wrote a long time ago. I don't really recognise the person, and I'm happy about it! We all learn with time, well, most of us do *s*
Anonymous: I'm afraid I don't add complete strangers to my msn. If you have the chance, you should go to the Swansea evening munch. I've been there once now, and the people are all friendly and nice!
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